I've filed all the paperwork concerning my disability status, now its an agonizing two week wait to find out if I get the benefit of getting paid to sit around the house all day… I've been thinking about it alot lately, and if I deserve it or not. My better judgement tells me I do not. But since I've been out of work for nearly half a year I'd say its worth a shot.  I suppose I could think of it in terms of just shifting the support off my mother's shoulders and giving it to the government. Yeah,. that actually makes me feel a little better,… In the years before my mental illness,. I couldn't image myself ever getting on disability. My how the times have changed. Now instead of working, I spend my days in front of a computer doing what ever the hell I feel like. It sounds like a great way to live,. but its not. In fact its horrible. My sense of self-worth has plumeted over the past year. My confidence deffinately lacks and boredom controlls my every action. Then I think if thats all I have to complain about then I'm alot better off than I give myself credit for,… I just think that if I get on disability its gonna be alot harder to find pride in anything I do,. thats all.